He snaps his claws together with bitter anguish, wishing for a more dexterous tool. A crustaceous Edward Scissorhands, his handshakes are never appreciated.
He was always bumping in to people in the street because he insisted on walking sideways and after all this stress, if things went badly, he might end up in one of those restaurant tanks like his cousin Barry.
It was a tough life.
At least there was always a castle to visit if he got bored…
Much like this elephant.
I just like looking at vegetables.
I mean how do you know your getting the best tomatoes for your money if you don’t peruse every tomato in the shop. There may be one tomato hiding at the bottom that’s the best tomato anyone has ever tasted.
Angry shoppers look at me like i’m an irritation, hindering their shopping experience. I just have a lot of time on my hands.
I get home and lay out my beautiful, plump, fresh vegetables.
They get home and weep over their unripe peaches.
These are just some of the reviews people would publish about me if my work was more popular. I wrote to Time magazine suggesting that they review my work but they did not respond.
I believe this is because of fear. Fear that if my work was to be distributed to a wider audience it might change things.
It may change the very make up of society.
Seriously though, they’re probably very busy.
I mean, I only sent a few letters, i’m sure i’ll get a reply soon.
Maybe they got lost in the mail.
…I’ll send another.