Oil on Canvas by Art Artz
Bench
Oil on Canvas by Art Artz
Look, Some Sheep
Painting by William Holman Hunt
Laughs
I’m a bad person.
When I see someone carrying recently made food I always visualise them dropping it. It’s just part of the human condition that other peoples failures are funny and there is nothing more spectacular than the cake drop.
The room fills with the aroma of freshly risen sponge.
The icing drips down the side.
Excitement buzzes.
And then it happens.
the shoe laces tangle.
The knees buckle.
And it goes flying through the air like a sweet vanilla projectile
The picture shows a typical incident. Edvard Munch’s “The Scream” can be seen. It is thought that the inspiration for the painting came from a similar incident that Munch experienced at his 5th birthday party.
People love schadenfreude, it goes all the way back to the earliest forms of comedy. English comedy is filled with slapstick.
Munch never truly recovered from the incident but he still managed to save some cake.
Look, A Polder
Painting by Paul Gäbriel
Generations
He lay with his greasy face against the cold laminate flooring after being dropped for the third time that morning.
He begged that he was not cracked, he had fallen at an odd angle.
Vertigo set in as a hand clamped around him and hastily lifted him from the floor. The fingerprints were wiped from his face by a shirt sleeve and he heard a sigh of relief, his screen was still intact.
Fingers smooshed his face once more as his user typed out a text.
He had been worried as of late, he had heard the rumours.
It was always discussed at this time of year, like clockwork, it panicked him immensely.
He hoped they were just rumours.
A new generation was coming.
He was being replaced.
His circuits buzzed as he daydreamed his demise in to the obsolete.
He thought he was special, irreplaceable, unique.
But the new phone was 0.6 inches bigger.
A technological revolution.
He placed himself on silent and hid behind the sofa cushions.
That’ll show ’em.
Look, A Carriage
Painting by John Constable
Stories – Part 2
He hides a hard truth
A closet claustrophobic
He is irony
Haiku 5 – “Claustrophobia” by Art Artz
They stare up at him
Under the microscopes glare
His patient is cured
Haiku 6 – “Bacteri ummm…” by Art Artz
The hero prevails
He stretches faking a yawn
He’s a first date pro
Haiku 7 – “Teenage daters” by Art Artz
If there were no banks
Payday would be a nightmare
Get a bigger purse
Haiku 8 – “Making it rain” by Art Artz
Look, Some Oars
Painting by Hans Fredrik Gude
Crabs
The crab scuttles aimlessly across the wide open beach.
His icy blood is warmed by the harsh sun.
He snaps his claws together with bitter anguish, wishing for a more dexterous tool. A crustaceous Edward Scissorhands, his handshakes are never appreciated.
He was always bumping in to people in the street because he insisted on walking sideways and after all this stress, if things went badly, he might end up in one of those restaurant tanks like his cousin Barry.
It was a tough life.
At least there was always a castle to visit if he got bored…
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